Don't Fall into the Homeschool Comparison Trap, hand reaching toward sky

Don’t Fall Into the Homeschool Comparison Trap

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Don’t Fall Into the Homeschool Comparison Trap

The one thing that will kill your homeschool spirit? Falling into the homeschool comparison trap. There are some things you can do when you feel you’re comparing your homeschool to everyone else’s.


We’ve all done it. We’ve all compared our homeschool to someone else’s homeschool. And what happens next isn’t pretty.

We fall headlong into a stairwell of guilt, bouncing off of every step until we’re lying broken at the bottom of a staircase going nowhere.

How did we end up here?

You took your eyes off the prize, my friend, and you aren’t alone. We are all guilty!

We look to our left and there’s Sue, with her two great kids that never fight and always do as their mother asks. Her home is always neat and clean and ready for company.

On our right, we have Laura, with a brood of 6 little stair steps that are always taking field trips and doing science experiments. Her husband comes home from work and does math with the kids and listens to them read. They have music lessons every Tuesday and dance lessons on Thursday.

And then, there’s you. You feel like most days you’re barely hanging on, your kids never listen, or so it seems, laundry is climbing the wall most days, you can’t remember when the last time your kitchen floor was mopped, you’re doing all the schooling alone, and wondering if homeschooling your children was the right decision.

Believe me, sister, I’ve been there. I did the looking around, I did the falling headlong down that staircase to nowhere.

And you know what I learned?

[bctt tweet=”I learned that every family’s homeschool is going to look different. One isn’t better than the other. We all do the best we can with what we have. ” username=”Momof8Melanie”]
Don't fall into the homeschool comparison trap - oranges with one apple


Someone is always going to have more time or money to spend on or with their kids. They’ll be able to go and do lots of things, but your kids won’t be deprived of a great education if you can’t.

Things you can do to avoid homeschool comparison…

Stop Looking Around

Quit looking at all those other moms. Focus on your task at hand. Your children. Cater the education you give your children to what works for your family.

If you can’t afford expensive field trips, look for free events in your area.

If you don’t have money for music lessons, try YouTube. Kids sometimes change their minds anyway. This way, if they get started and hate playing the piano, you aren’t out any cash, as long as you didn’t have to buy a piano.

Change Homeschooling Methods

If you feel like your homeschool isn’t up to par, maybe you’re trapped in a homeschooling method that’s not working. There are so many different homeschooling methods to choose from you will never get bored. Try changing it up a bit. Read Understanding Homeschooling Methods for more info.

Looks are Deceiving

Sue and Laura are just some examples of homeschool moms I’ve compared myself and my homeschool to.

But, one thing I always try to remember is that nothing ever is as it seems on the surface. I don’t know what Sue’s or Laura’s home life looks like behind closed doors.

They may have had to fight battles I’ve never wanted part of to get their homeschools the way I see them. Sue may have had to make an arrangement with her husband to keep the house clean at all times in order for him to agree to her being at home and homeschooling their children. And Laura’s husband, he may take the kids in the evening to do math with them and listen to them read because by that time of day Laura’s anxiety is getting the better of her and she desperately needs a mental health break.

My point is we don’t know what other homeschool moms have been through to get the homeschool life we see them live. We don’t get to see the whole picture, only what they want us to see.

So, the next time you start falling into the homeschool comparison trap, keep your eyes on your own kids’ education, think about a change in homeschooling methods for a season, and remember we only see the lives people want to show us.

Having doubts about your homeschool? Let me give you 5 Ways to Stop Homeschooling Doubt.

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