When Dad Doesn’t Help – A letter to the struggling homeschool mom.
It can be difficult when Dad doesn’t help homeschool the children.
If Dad is present, sometimes he doesn’t understand, sometimes he thinks all this is just crazy. He went along with the decision, but isn’t quite sure you’re doing the right thing. He can’t help or he won’t, and most of the time he doesn’t even understand what’s being taught.
If Dad isn’t around, you can still do this. Having your children’s father support your homeschooling decision is nice, but not a necessity. Lots of moms homeschool their children without the help of their children’s father.
Nothing worthwhile is ever easy.
No one said homeschooling was easy, and if they told you such nonsense, I’m so sorry. Nothing worthwhile in life is ever easy. You just didn’t think it was going to be THIS hard. Did you?
You never thought you’d be out on the far edge of a cliff hanging onto a tree root for dear life because you can’t seem to balance life, learning, and laundry. (Homeschooling is Hard…Sometimes is a post I wrote about how hard it can be.)
This doesn’t mean you should give up. It probably means you need to slow down, or maybe you need to change pace. You don’t have to do all the things all the time.
I cannot stress to you enough that your homeschool life will change, many times before your children graduate high school. You’ll have busy seasons and seasons that seem silent. You’ll have cooperative children and children that fight doing assignments and pretend what you’re telling them doesn’t make any sense just to drive you crazy. (Yeah, those are fun days. NOT!)
Dad will eventually come around, or he won’t. You cannot dwell on that right now. You must do what’s best for your kids and their education. Teach them well. Let them tell you or show you what they want to learn about and blow. it. up. Teach them as much as their little minds can take for as long as you can hold their interest.
Hopefully, when Dad sees how much your child is learning and how much fun he or she is having, he’ll begin to be a source of support.
Dads don’t have to help teach to be supportive.
My husband doesn’t do any of the teaching. He doesn’t understand much of what we’re learning… ever. When he walked across the stage at high school graduation, he had no desire to ever look at another textbook again. And that’s ok.
He supports our homeschooling effort in other ways. He helps with laundry, dishes, getting kids bathed at night, because he knows I’m mentally and physically exhausted some days.
If your child or children’s father isn’t in the home, or doesn’t help out at all, cut yourself some slack. Give yourself some GRACE! You don’t need to be able to eat off the floor, no one is going to come in and do a white glove test on your furniture. And if they do, show them the door! None of us need that kind of negativity in our lives.
Establishing good systems is important when Dad doesn’t help.
Put some cleaning and schooling systems in place that work for your family, do the best you can with what you’ve got, and leave the rest up to Jesus. That’s all any of us can do, and ultimately, that’s all we should do.
Homeschooling your children is a life-changing decision. It changes you and it changes them. This choice brings you closer to your babies. You’ll know more about your children’s hearts than any other person on the planet…for now. In what seems like no time at all, your little nestlings will grow up and fly away. So, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to be with your children as much as you can for as long as you can.
Here are a couple of posts from other homeschool moms to encourage you.
Prayers for you and yours,